Well, at least the war on the environment is going well.

What did the people of southern Louisiana get in 2016 that they won't get in 2017?
Home Insurance.

Tesla has added special Air Filters to make your air as clean as a hospital's.
Just in case your're stuck in traffic behind a volkswagen.

Everybody talks about leaving a better planet for the children.
Why nobody tries to leave better children to the planet?

Coastal Town Names

Concerned about what will happen to cities if the polar ice caps melt?
Don’t be. New names have already been chosen.

Atlantis City, New Jersey

Pariscope, France

Sail 'Em, Massachusetts

Floodelphia, Pennsylvania

Helsunki, Finland

Sao Marco … Paulo, Brazil

Global warming. It's the kids I feel sorry for, because if sea levels do rise, they'll drown first.

Because of climate change, a great forest fire went out of control.
A photographer of an environmental magazine was assigned to get photos of the fire.
Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. ‘It will be waiting for you at the airport!’ he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, ‘Let’s go! Let’s go!’
The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
‘Fly over the north side of the fire,’ said the photographer, ‘and make three or four low-level passes.’
‘Why?’ asked the pilot.
‘Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!’ said the photographer with great exasperation.
After a long pause the pilot said, ‘You mean you’re not the instructor?’

Global warming;
Mankind's revenge on the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

How do Prius owners drive?
One hand on the wheel, the other patting themselves on the back

I'm not fat, I'm just enviromentally friendly; I use less water when filling up the bath.

Princeton researchers predict that a warming climate will cause millions of Mexicans to migrate to the US. To prevent this illegal invasion, we will stop building border fences and instead send Wal-Mart air conditioners to Mexico.

Fuck off global warming, I live on a hill...

Reduce your carbon footprint.. take bigger steps.

I've had enough of this shit weather so I'm moving to the Antarctic.
At least the snow and ice is meant to be melting there.

We produce 48% more carbon emissions than we did in the 1970s but that figure could be halved if we just divide it by two.

I started playing the new Facebook game, Oilville, but now I can’t make it stop.
Andy Borowitz

I was standing waiting for a bus the other day and a man came up to me and said, "You know whilst you've been stood here, 2,000 acres of rainforest have been destroyed!"
Well, I won't stand there from now on. Problem solved.

The government are always going on about saving energy.
I tried turning my lights off to save some...
I ran over a cyclist.

We all have to do our part for the environment. And There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.

Tuesday, June 1st is the official beginning of the hurricane season.
Any hurricanes prior to that date are illegal.

Do you know more climate jokes?
We are happy about each mail to klimawitze@die-klimaschutz-baustelle.de.

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