Mankind: we will never slow down or shut down to help this climate change.
Mommy nature: Here is a virus. Practice.

Mars and Earth are playing that old game of “Find the thimble.”
Earth leaves the room while Mars hides the thimble.
After a minute, Mars says, “Ok come back in.”
Earth takes just 2 steps in when Mars yells out, “You’re getting warmer!”

I've read that polar ice is melting causing polar bears to migrate south. They've actually started sharing habitat with grizzly bears and are even interbreeding with them. Now if there's one thing Republicans hate more than science it's interracial marriage. So all we need to do is let them know this.

Here’s some advice from that best-selling book: “An Introvert’s Guide to Finding your Soulmate.”
If you’re at a cocktail party and you happen to see an attractive person, sidle up to him or her and start talking about global warming. It's a real icebreaker.

Hollywood is really taking climate change seriously
Vin Diesel even changed his name to Vin Solar

Without saying how old you are, name one thing from your childhood someone younger wouldn’t understand.
Polar ice caps

How do you recognize a green SUV?
The color!

Never argue about climate change
It always turns into a heated debate

Humans: There is absolutely nothing that can be done to combat climate change.
Mother Earth: Hold My Beer.

We haven't found a solution for climate change yet, but...
...we're definitely getting warmer.

Climate change is such a joke...
Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

No wonder Leonardo so passionate about climate change he owes icebergs his whole career.

I haven't always believed in climate change
But I'm warming up to the theory.

Sure, we can do something about climate change now, but if we find out in 50 years that the researchers made a mistake and that climate change doesn't exist, we would have improved air quality in all major cities, gotten rid of noisy and smelly cars, cleaned up toxic rivers and destroyed dictatorships funded on money from oil for no reason.

It has been proven that Greta Thunberg is making a real difference to climate change.
Every time she comes on the TV approximately 1 million people switch it off.

What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate!

Do you know more climate jokes?
We are happy about each mail to klimawitze@die-klimaschutz-baustelle.de.